This Thanksgiving, while the turkey is roasting and the pie is baking, why not take a break from all the cooking and prep work with some good old-fashioned family fun? These cornucopias of corny Thanksgiving jokes will surely get everyone at the table laughing. Just be sure to have some milk on hand for when Uncle Joe starts coughing from all that laughter!
Thanksgiving Jokes to Get the Family Laughing
- What can a whole pie do that half can’t? It can look round.
- What did the Pilgrims use to make cookies on Thanksgiving? May flour.
- What comes at the beginning of parades? The letter “p.”
- Who didn’t have any friends at Friendsgiving? The turkey!
- How did the pilgrims bring their cows to America? On the mooo-flower.
- Did you hear about the turkey haunted house? It had a poultry-giest.
- What did the baker say when she saw the pumpkin pie? It’s gord-geous!
- Why was the cornbread fired from his job? It was loafing around too much.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who? Arthur any more cranberries?
- What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day? Quack, quack!
- When does Thanksgiving bread rise? When you yeast expect it to.
- Which green beans never get hired to act anymore? The has beans.
- What do you call a turkey on the run? Fast food.
- My friends told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I couldn’t quit cold turkey.
- What kind of apples should be used for cider served at a ball? Gala apples.
- What did the Thanksgiving turkey say to the Christmas ham? Nice to meat you.
- What key won’t open a door? A turkey!
- What vegetables can tie your shoes? String beans.
- How did the investor know Apple’s stock was going to go up? He had incider information.
- Why was the turkey arrested? The police suspected fowl play.
More Thanksgiving Jokes to Bring Joy
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? I mustache you to carve the turkey.
- What do Pilgrims use to make s’mores? Pilgraham crackers.
- Did you hear about the Thanksgiving engagement ring? It’s 24 carrots.
- What did one pumpkin pie say to the other? You wanna piece of me?
- If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
- Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive? It had 24 carrots.
- If April flowers bring May showers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are the best time of year.
- What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.
- Why did the farmer enter the cider-making contest? He loved the apple-ause.
- What happens when potatoes drink too much? They get mashed.
- What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing! Wing!
- Why was the turkey expelled from the game? It committed a fowl.
- How many cooks do you need to stuff a turkey? Just one, but sometimes they don’t fit.
- What do you call frightened cornbread? Screamed corn.
- When is turkey soup bad for your health? When you’re the turkey!
- What smells the best on Thanksgiving? Your nose.
- Why was the turkey arrested? He was suspected of fowl play.
- What do pilgrims learn in school? Pilgrammar.
- What is a sweet potato’s favorite TV show? Starch Trek.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good pumpkin pie recipe?
- Why do turkeys lay eggs? Well if they threw them, they would break!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to pass the gravy?
- What did the scarecrow wear to Thanksgiving? A har-vest.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Grace. Grace who? Grace before Thanksgiving is a tradition.
- Did you hear about the sad cranberry? It was actually a blueberry.
- What do turkeys say on Thanksgiving? Moo.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dog. Dog who? Doggone-it, someone ate the last turkey leg.
- How did the cider mill keep track of its inventory? On an Apple iPad.
- Did you hear the one about the rude turkey? It was jerk-y.
Ready for more Thanksgiving Jokes?
- Who led all the apples to the bakery? The Pie Piper.
- What kind of music do Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth rock.
- What’s a popular Thanksgiving dance? The turkey trot.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to sit at the kid’s table again?
- What do you call a sad cranberry? A blueberry.
- Can a turkey jump higher than a house? Yes, because houses can’t jump!
- What does a vampire call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter? Pi a la mode.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita bigger pair of pants, I ate too much.
- What’s the best way to fix a broken pumpkin? Use a pumpkin patch.
- What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert? Peach gobbler!
- What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google, google!
- Why did the apple pie cry? Its peelings were hurt!
- How did the cornbread get away from the holiday feast? It waved down a taxi cob.
- What’s a good author to read out at the Thanksgiving table? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
- What did the key lime pie say to the pecan pie? You’re nuts!
- How did the cornbread keep its shape? It spent an hour on the gym’s bread machine.
- What did the turkey say to the mashed potatoes? It’s gravy from here on out.
- What did the pumpkin say to the squash? Oh my gourd!
- How do turkeys cross the ocean? On a gravy boat.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie.
- How does Thanksgiving always end? With a “g.”
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for dessert.
- How are Thanksgiving and Halloween alike? They both have gobble-ins.
- What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker? Use apples instead.
Have the Family LOL with These Turkey Jokes
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tanks. Tanks who? Tanksgiving is here!
- What song should you play while you prepare a turkey? All about that baste!
- Why did the turkey get detention? It used fowl language.
- What was the little sweet potato’s favorite book? Green Eggs and Yam.
- If leaves come from trees, where do turkeys come from? Poultries.
- What do you need to make Thanksgiving s’mores? Pil-grahms.
- What’s the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve it pizza and ice cream.
- How do turkeys search the internet? They use Gobble.
- What happened to the turkey that got in a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
- What’s the best thing to put in pumpkin pie? Your teeth!
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.
- Why do turkeys hate the kitchen on Thanksgiving? It smells fowl.
- Why didn’t the turkey want dessert? He was stuffed!
- Why shouldn’t you sit next to a turkey at dinner? Because he will gobble it up!
- Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a garden? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears and the green beans stalk.
- What did the autumn leaf say to the tree? I’m falling for you.
- What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving? Lucky!
- Why did the pumpkin pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
- What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? Quack, quack, quack.
- Why are turkeys good at rebelling? They love a coup.
- Why couldn’t the green bean answer the door? It was in the can.
- Why did the turkey cross the road? It was following the chicken.
- Why do turkeys gobble? Because they never learned table manners.
- Did you hear about the turkey prom? It was a Butterball.
- Who doesn’t eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey — it’s always stuffed.
Kid-Friendly Thanksgiving Jokes
- Why couldn’t the cranberry go to the Thanksgiving party? It was bogged down with work.
- What do turkeys do on Sunday? Have a peck-nics.
- Did you hear about the green bean that is studying for its license? It has to pass the salad bar.
- What do you say to the winner of the fall harvest cook-off? Corn-gratulations.
- Where did the Pilgrims stand after landing on Plymouth Rock? On their feet.
- What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself.
- What did one turkey say to the other when they saw the pilgrims arrive? They look nice, maybe they’ll have us over for dinner.
- Why don’t side dishes tell jokes? They’re too corny.
- How do little pumpkins cross the road? With a crossing gourd.
- What do you call gravy when the turkey’s dry? The gift that keeps on Thanksgiving.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Happy. Happy who? Happy Thanksgiving Day to you!
- What vegetable comes from outer space? Green beings.
- Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey, because he’s already stuffed!
- Why do Thanksgiving bread jokes stay funny? Because they never get mold.
- If you call a Turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one? A goblet.
- What acting job did the green bean audition for? The casse-role.
- Did you hear about the pie that joined a girl group? Its stage name is Pumpkin Pie Spice.
- What does the turkey think about holidays? They’re about family time, after that, it’s all gravy.
- What do turkeys use to serve wine? A gob-let.
- Why is it so easy for mashed potatoes to travel? They take the gravy train.
- How is cornbread like the army? They’re both made of lots of kernels!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? Sorry you’ve got a cold on Thanksgiving!
- Did you hear about the turkey fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Aida. Aida who? Aida lot of food and now I’m stuffed.
- What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
Pass the Jokes Around Your Thanksgiving Table
- What do pilgrims use to bake cookies? May-flour!
- Why did the turkey start a band? He had drumsticks!
- If fruit comes from fruit trees, where do turkeys come from? Poul-trees.
- What do you get when it rains mashed potatoes and gravy? Spuddles!
- What’s the best song to play while cooking a turkey? All About That Baste.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Argue. Argue who? Argue going to pass the gravy or what?
- Why was the cherry pie so happy? It won first pies in the contest.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita nap, I’m stuffed!
- What is the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The tur-key.
- Why do turkeys hate Thanksgiving tables? They’re a fowl sight.
- What’s the smallest unit of measurement in the pilgrim cookbook? A pil-gram.
- What should you expect at the end of Thanksgiving? The letter “g.”
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? A herd. A herd who? A herd you were hosting Thanksgiving this year.
- Did you hear about the turkey who went to jail? It was arrested for fowl play.
- Why do turkeys love rainy days? They love fowl weather.
- Why did the turkey refuse to eat dinner? It was stuffed.
- What sound does a limping turkey make? Wobble, wobble!
- What do you call a running turkey? Fast food.
- What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies.
- What type of glass does a turkey drink from? A goblet.
- Why should you never tell secrets in a cornfield? Because the corn has ears.
- Why did the turkey become a percussionist? It already had the drumsticks.
- What did one turkey say to the other? Let’s get basted!
- What do you do when you accidentally sit on the sweet potatoes you made for Thanksgiving dinner? Bring squash casserole instead.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, it’s Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving Food Jokes
- Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green bean farm? It was in a seedy part of town.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Gwen. Gwen who? Gwen is Thanksgiving dinner? I’m hungry!
- Why didn’t the pilgrims want to make bread? It’s a crummy job.
- Why is corn so popular on Thanksgiving? Because it’s a-maize-ing.
- What’s a Pilgrim’s favorite dance? The Turkey Trot.
- What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner? A har-vest.
- What do you call gossiping with a turkey at the table? A side dish.
- Did you hear about the scarecrow who won first prize? It was outstanding in its field.
- How did the detective solve the mystery at the orchard? He pressed the apples for clues.
- Why did the cranberry blush? It saw the turkey dressing.
- What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert? Apple gobbler.
- Why didn’t the chef season the turkey? There wasn’t enough thyme.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry. Harry who? Harry up, I’m hungry!
- When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving? In the dictionary.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Dozen. Dozen who? Dozen anybody else want pie?
- Where did they take the Mayflower when it was sick? The nearest doc.
- Which pie has the most jam in it? Cherry Garcia pie.
- How do Pilgrims kick a bad habit? They stop cold turkey.
- When do you serve rubber turkey? Pranksgiving!
- What sound does a turkey’s phone make? Wing wing wing!
- Why did the cranberries turn red? They saw the turkey dressing!
- Why did the turkey play the drums in his band? Because he already had drumsticks!
- What sound does a space turkey make? Hubble, hubble, hubble.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie body want pumpkin pie?
- Why was everyone grouchy after drinking the apple cider? It was made of crab apples!
Fill Their Bellys with Laughter Thanksgiving Jokes
- What did one smitten pumpkin say to the other? I only have pies for you.
- What did the gravy say to the judgmental mashed potato? Taters gonna tate.
- What do you get when you cross a turkey with a ghost? A poultrygeist!
- Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down? They wear their belt buckle on their head.
- What do you call rain on Turkey Day? Fowl weather.
- What did the turkey say to the computer? Google, google.
- Why couldn’t the gravy boat make it across the table? There was a maize to get past.
- How many pastry chefs does it take to make a pie? 3.14.
- Why did the sweet potato pie cross the road? It saw a fork up ahead.
- Why did the turkey run across the road? It was time for dinner.
- What kind of shows do green beans do? Pod casts.
- What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost? Poultry-geist.
- How did the turkey get home for Thanksgiving? It took the gravy train.
- If you call a large turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one? A goblet.
- Why do turkeys only star in R-rated movies? Because they use fowl language!
- Why did the turkey cross the road? He wanted people to think he was a chicken.
- What do cows do on Thanksgiving? Eat dinner and watch a moo-vie.
- What did the pasta say to the green bean? Here’s a penne for your thoughts.
- What was the turkey thankful for on Thanksgiving? Vegetarians.
We hope you enjoyed these corny Thanksgiving jokes! Laughter is truly the best medicine, so make sure to enjoy plenty of it this holiday season. Happy Thanksgiving!
